Monday, April 06, 2009

i need to decompress

i feel like my head is gonna explode!
Not to mention my heart and body with it!

Sigh.

i am desperate for God to throw me a rope... can feel myself submerging in the quicksand of my own anger, frustration and angst.

i need to 'breathe'.

i'm 'waiting to exhale'... and the more i desperately want to, the more i feel the urge welling up inside of me... the more i feel restrained and constrained from doing so.

like i'm being 'suffocated'... forced to hold my breath.
Like my head is being drowned underwater and i'm struggling for breath but to no avail.

God... c'mon.... where is the light at the end of this tunnel...
Where is the hand that's reaching out to grab me just before i go under...


And yet my souls whispers to me...

... yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i will fear no evil...
For You are with me... Your rod and Your staff they comfort me... You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies... You anoint my head with oil my cup runneth over...

Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen.

*vinod closes his eyes and suddenly here's the song 'Yet wil i praise Thee' playing...he wants to weep but somehow the tears don't surface... perhaps the water has run dry.*

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