i feel that we’re all in a constant battle. Now, i’m not just referring to spiritual warfare or the prevailing battle of good over evil or the struggles of our soul with our flesh in our efforts to obey the spirit.
i’m talking about something that’s perhaps more universally relatable and dare i say relevant… a battle to preserve our conscience.
It says in God’s Word (and i’m paraphrasing) that He has written His laws in the hearts of men and women… i.e. He has given us all a conscience. So, there’s really no blame for ignorance, especially when it comes to right and wrong. Sure, we may not know what’s the “correct” answer to some of life’s questions but when it comes to right and wrong… whether we should lie… whether we should steal… whether we should kill… and the various permutations in between… there’s something within us that leaves no room for doubt. We know what is right. We know what needs to be done (or not done). We don’t need anyone to tell us or teach us do we? We just know.
It’s called a conscience.
And it’s constantly challenged isn’t it?
When you’re filling up that claim form to your office (which you know you’re entitled to anyway) and you’re tempted to put down claims that you know are beyond what you actually spent.
When you’re best friend offers you the answers to the exams that you so need to pass to get your degree with a promise that it’ll be a secret between the two of you.
When you see that money clip filled with a whole bunch of 100 dollar notes (not Ringgit Malaysia) lying on the floor with no one seeming to be looking for it in sight.
When you’re boss asks you to lie on his behalf and in so doing ensures that he’ll make sure you’re ‘taken care of’ when the time comes.
It’s challenged. There’s a battle that rages within. And the battle is not really about what’s right or wrong but rather about whether we’ll do what’s right or not. Whether we’ll drown out the cry of our conscience that screams for justice, equality and truth. Whether we’ll somehow numb ourselves to the guilt that always follows while we just ignore what needs to be done. Whether we’ll hide ourselves in the shroud of our own manufactured inaptitude and ignorance… almost deluding ourselves that we know no better.
But there’s a cost.
There’s always a price to pay.
Will we enjoy the spoils of our war or will we become prisoners to it, cursed to suffer and serve its master.
Well, i think the price we all pay for the stands that we make (or not make) is the price of our souls (and i don’t mean that in just an eternal death and damnation kind of way).
The more we succumb to the pressures that seek to rob us of our conscience the more we find that we lose a piece of ourselves with it. We lose who we are, who we’re meant to be. We lose the core of our being.
Without a conscience, deep sense of right and wrong and more importantly a conviction that drives us to stand upon it and act upon it… we’re nothing but empty shells. Void of what makes us who we are. Void of our humanity. We’ve regressed and undifferentiated ourselves into creatures that are driven by necessity. A product of circumstances. A dependent on the pressures or the lack of them around us and upon us. We’ve thrown away our privilege and honour to ‘higher function’ and the resemblance of the ‘Higher Being’ after which we were made in. We’ve sold our ‘birth right’ to something better and become mere mammals.
The peculiar thing is, many of us settle for that.
We’re fine with it.
We’re hardened to it.
i pray that as i brave to fight every day for all that i know to be true that the ‘scars’ of battle will not eat away at my fervour to win the war, my faith in Him who holds the victor’s crown.
i will stand!
i will not be shaken!
And i will fight!
So help me God.