i feel like i’m a walking shell sometimes. Don’t get me wrong. i know that God lives within me and i'm the temple of the Holy Spirit and my life is filled with the plans and purposes that He has in store for me. My life is “full”. And now with my wonderful wife with me, a constant and more than compatible companion, there’s hardly any reason at all to be in want.
But that’s not what i mean.
My heart (again, try to see what I’m getting at) is back in KL. Back in the company of family. My family, Ling’s family, and most of all our family in ACTS. i close my eyes and i see them. i’m constantly in the company of memories of them and a longing to be rejoined with them. Like i said, home is where the heart is and boy, do i so want to go back home.
i feel it necessary to say that Labuan really is a beautiful place. And both my wife and i have come to meet and know just wonderful people that have not only enriched our lives here but made it filled with the warmth of friendship and camaraderie. Friends that i know i will cherish for a long time more to come and for that i am thankful.
But, i have to be honest it isn’t home. And it has nothing to do with the lack of hospitality or anything of the sort. If anything, i’ve learnt a whole lot from the spectacular people here about being hospitable and open and warm (you guys know who you are)…
i guess i can best liken it to going to your uncle’s and aunt’s place to stay for awhile. They treat you well (like you’re their own child even) and they open up their home to you and welcome you to make it yours. And you enjoy and appreciate all the love and care and warmth they show you and reciprocate it in return. You even grow to love this “extended-family” of yours as you grow to know them more and live with them longer.
But after awhile (and in my case as soon as i reached Labuan)… you miss ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’. You miss your own home. You are filled with gratitude towards your uncle and aunt but you can’t help your feelings. Your heart is back HOME.